Drinking with co-workers is natural. It can be fun. With the right mix, it can lead to some pretty darn good times.  Sometimes you can actually advance the professional ball, so to speak, by hanging out and knocking back a few with the right person. The Good Example (aka “Love The One You’re With”):  Recently I closed down a bar with a pretty senior client of mine.  We were tying it on, telling stories, bonding, and we had a rockin’ time (anytime you sit at a bar manned by a pair of blonde, tattooed bartenders, it just can’t be all bad!).  I made sure, though, that no matter how much I drank, I remembered this was a client.  An important one.  I kept my head.  The next morning, he calls my boss and says, “Where did you find that guy?! He’s awesome!!”  Mission accomplished.But most times, in my Be Better Guys experience, you get booze together with people from work and you know, nothing good’s going to come from it. Ask these folks how partying with colleagues worked out. 

The Bad Example I (aka “You Did NOT Just Say That”):  I’m at a team dinner, we’re drinking, talking work, talking smack, and one of the guys and I straggle behind to talk shop.  He was blitzkrieged like Poland in ’44.  And we start talking about a partner who’s female and a minority.  He expressed his dissatisfaction with her by tossing off some raw, racially-biased crud that made me lose all respect this guy had previously built up.  I’m not going to HR about his bigotry, it’s not my style, but damn, bro, keep those thoughts to yourself. 

The Bad Example II (aka “…And You’re What, 64 Years Old?!?”):  This one happened to my wife – she really dug one of her co-workers, an older gentleman on the cusp of retirement who was a real pro, a mentor, and a confidant for her.  Except one night, when that all changed.  My wife and he are hanging at the hotel bar, and the guy’s sauced.  So he confesses that he’s had an affair.  OK, it happens.  Then he proceeds to talk graphically about specific acts that occurred while driving across the Golden Gate.  The guy’s old enough to be my wife’s dad!  Who wants to hear that stuff, let alone from a “mentor”?  Come on, old man, button up, take some Metamucil and pack it in.

The Bad Example III (aka “It Might Have Been OK If He Were a She, But Even Then…”):  The last company I worked at had a really young staff managed by some middle-aged guys.  The culture was fast and loose.  The staff was tight, all hung out, partied together, even traveled together.  Some of them lived together.  The team won a group trip to Bermuda and one guy, a real clown who everyone liked, just got tore up.  So one of his “colleagues” made a bet with him at 4 am about some vacuuming.  In the hotel lobby.  Naked.   In front of the rest of the team.  And the drunk guy did it!  And it was funny.  Until the boss got wind of it.  The guy wasn’t fired, but whenever a promotion opportunity on the team came up, take one guess who the first guy was to get passed over?  Right.

Look, I just want to say one thing – people love to show that they’re down, plugged in, hip, cool, connected, happening, whatever. And they’ll say and do things when they’re drunk to prove it. And the problem is that once disgusting, drunken words or behavior is said or done, it sticks with you like the smell of cigarettes on your clothes after a night of bar hopping. Your professional reputation that can take years to build up can be torpedoed with one night of obnoxious, drunken buffoonery.

As I've said, you're going to drink with your clients and coworkers.  There is a right way and a wrong way to do it.  Do it the right way and it can really forward your relationship.  Do it the wrong way and you'll be searching for a new relationship, and a new job.