 Never underestimate the power of a handwritten note. I recieved one from a Supreme Court Justice, thanking me for inviting him to a conference I was working on. He didn’t come, but he wrote a heart-felt note, expressing his interest in the topic matter and his desire to stay informed. His politics and mine didn’t mesh, but I was touched by the note and have regarded him differently ever since. That’s the power of a handwritten note: it conveys a humanity that even partisan politics can’t deny.
Despite our best efforts with technology, sometimes it’s just easier (and more effective) to write things down, onto paper with a pen. Far too few people do this any more, which is a shame because people connect with paper and ink in ways that don’t quite translate electronically. Something about that contact with the page makes it more real and intimate. Getting a handwritten note or letter gives the receiver a certain gratification. It says the author took the time, no matter how brief. The more and more I type, the more I become convinced that writing things, like a note of thanks on stationery, is a good habit to develop.
I got into the habit some years back, writing notes thanking people for gifts, remembering what my mom used to make me do each year after Christmas. Then, as I started getting invited to social engagements, I’d write a note to say “Thanks for having me eat up all your food, drink all the good Scotch, and pass out on the sofa.” Occasionally, I’d write a note to a girlfriend or potential girlfriend, just to let them know I was thinking of her. Each time, I got a response, either a phone call or a return note, thanking me for my kindness. Sometimes I got a lot more from the ladies, but the point is that it was appreciated. About that time, I starting buying blank note cards and while I do most of my correspondence electronically now, I still keep Crane's blank stationery around for just these sorts of occasions. Sure, it’s easier to do so electronically, but I still like the personal touch of a note and so do a lot of other folks.
When to Write a Note I’m not suggesting you start handwriting all of your business letters -- have you seen people’s handwriting these days? – just your personal correspondence. Jot a short note, send it, or drop it by. It should be simple -- two lines and a salutation -- and sincere. Be direct, but not too specific ("Thank you for the toaster. We look forward to many a morning of warm, toasted bread thanks to you"). My wife, Jill, and I got several compliments on our thank you notes after our wedding and even though it's a formality, it's one people do appreciate.
Knowing when to write a thank you note or other personal message is necessary. To wit:
- Any gift or favor beyond a casual offering deserves one. That means birthday and holiday presents, wedding or graduation gifts, anything from a grandparent, mentor, or business colleague. If you had a child and got a load of diapers and rattles, send a note to each person who gave your little ankle-biter a gift. For everything except the wedding presents, you should do this within a month. For wedding presents, you have up to a year to send thank you notes.
- After any job or employment-related interview. Thank the person for his or her time and let that person know you appreciated the opportunity to speak. This should be done within a few days of the meeting.
- If you received a formal invitation to an event, such as a housewarming party at a colleague’s home, whip off a short note of thanks after you attend. Do this particularly if you can’t attend and that way you’ll be invited again. The host will remember your kindness -- just another thing to distinguish you from the crowd.
Tools of the Trade At some point we were supposed to become a paperless society. I’m sure you’ve seen the promises: no more paper bills! Everything will be digital – photos, invoices, money, etc. In the age of email and cell phones, it's easier to dash off an email or text message. Funny thing about this paperless age we’re in is that we now use three times as much paper as we ever did and no one can agree on a format or technology to store these new age “documents.” If you’re anything like me, you have letters, memos, messages, and pictures on multiple computers, PDAs, and other types of electronic storage. Half of it I couldn’t find if my life depended on it, which it might some day. To keep up with the digital paper trail, chances are you’ve printed some or most of it out. Even better, those businesses and other entities (like your mom) sending electronic correspondence or records include the caveat that you should print a hard copy for your records. So much for the paperless age.
Do yourself a favor - buy a pen and some stationery and instead of firing off an email to someone, write a note. You can always carry a pen and paper with you. As ubiquitous as laptops are, try using one at the beach – they don’t deal with sand too well.
- Stationery is a worthwhile indulgence. Some might think it's a luxury item, but more men’s accessories outlets are carrying stationery. Getting your own letterhead doesn’t have to cost a grip of money, but it does make an undeniable impression. If you got married in the last few years, you and your wife probably have note cards with your names on them, which are perfect for things like thanking someone for inviting you to a party or for a gift. Most any stationery store can produce letterhead for you. Buying online can reduce your costs and delivery time http://www.thestationerystudio.com/.
- Don’t want to buy personalized stationery? There are several companies that make great stationery with cool graphics, like Dempsey and Carroll, or other venerable stationers like Crane’s. You can get cards and letterhead in a myriad of colors, designs, and sizes. Note cards run anywhere from $12 to $50 for a package. Shop online and make your life easier.
- Having your own pen is a very personal thing. My father is a pen fanatic, he only uses a fountain pen with black ink and won’t loan it out. I’ve probably bought him a half-dozen for birthdays, Father’s Day, and the like. I know that we use pens less and less, but there's still no need to rely on Papermates. Get your own pen – rollerball or fountain pen – with a strong barrel, comfortable grip, and smooth writing stroke. Better pens start around $40.
- Stamps. But you knew that.
I own a Tombow Zoom Egg rollerball pen. It’s fat and squat, like a cigar, and I love it. Not the most practical shape, but it writes well, and is distinctive. Go to Fahrney's or other pen shops and choose your weapon.
So, get into (or back into) the habit of writing with a pen and paper. Yes, paper usage is at an all-time high and I have file cabinets filled with stuff that I’ll be throwing out in 3-5 years. And sure, I almost allowed myself to be seduced by a conservative Justice because of a respectful, personalized note, but that doesn’t change the fact that a personal note carries more weight. Make someone’s day, write ‘em a note.
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