I had a friend that was having relationship troubles with his girlfriend and they decided to go to counseling. The first thing the counselor said was that sometimes couples go to counseling because they don't know how to break up. By the end of that session, they were officially over.The reason breaking up is so hard is for a few reasons. One is that we are creatures of comfort and we will go to great lengths to avoid the pain and discomfort of being without a girlfriend or a boyfriend. We may also not want to deal with the failure of yet another relationship and that feeling of having to start all over again in the game of love.

Another reason we find it so hard to break up is that we somehow expect it to feel right at some point. We think that if we talk it out (or fight it out enough) the decision to part will actually feel like a relief, but often that relief doesn't come until much later. That's why break-up's can seem to drag on for weeks or even months because we're waiting for it to not feel so awful.

The worst scenario is when we get into the name-calling or what I call the "Full Blown Character Assassination Tactic." This tactic is where the couple essentially criticizes and blames each other for the relationship reaching this inevitable end, which leaves them only one resolution and that is to end the relationship. In a break-up, even when we know it's for the best, we are actually angry at the other person for not being who we wanted/needed them to be. If we could have faith that the right person will come along we could save ourselves years of unhappy break-ups because, the truth is, each break-up leads you one person closer to the person you were meant to be with.

Mandie Green is a writer, and all-around raconteur. Mandie writes about dating, relationships, and the things that make you pull your hair out by the roots. She currently lives in Santa Monica, CA.