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BBG Guests: Kwame DeRoche |
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 Kwame DeRoche
Humor Columnist, Washington, DC
Kwame
DeRoche is many things: a humor columnist, an award-winning advertising
copywriter, a husband, a dad, and a Star Trek geek. He loves his alma
mater, but cringes that the mascot is a fuzzy orange, um, thing. He’s
been trying to be a better guy since he was shot down in the 6th grade
by a girl who said he wasn’t her "type.” Kwame’s the mad mind behind “Kwam’s Rant.”BBG: What things or people inspire your personal style?
KD: I’m not an overly-formal person, so I like anyone and anything that’s laid back and casual without looking sloppy or lazy. A good example is Will Smith – even in sweats, the guy oozes class. I like the classics: classic shoes, classic musicians, classic movies. They’re classics for a reason: timeless style. Every guy should strive for that.
BBG: Is how you look important to you? Why?
KD: Of course it is. I mean, I’m not a girl about it, but you never know who you’ll run into out in the world, so why not take the extra 20 minutes to shower and shave? Besides, looking good gives you an extra boost of confidence, and who can’t use that?
BBG: What sort of behavior do you see too much of and what would you say to young men about it?
KD: I don’t dig the whole copycat thing. As guys, we suffer from wanting to look the same as every other guy out there. Case in point is the tuxedo. Women go nuts trying to find unique dresses that suit their bodies and style. Guys are content to all look like penguins. I’d tell the young ‘uns to be themselves. Wear the neon green vest. Get the fedora to top it off. Go nuts. However, if it’s stained, throw it out. I don’t care if it’s your favorite and has a great history, it’s got to go.
BBG: What unique tip(s) can you give a guy coming up that could make him a better guy?
KD: We all know by now to take care of our fingernails. But fellas, don’t be afraid of the pedicure. I worked with a guy who honest-to-God looked like he had Fritos for toenails, and he wore the same sandals every casual Friday all summer long. I wanted to hurl. Take care of your feet, man. Seriously. And a few other tips:
- Forget what I said before about a tuxedo and own a tux. You’ll find reasons to wear it.
- Know a little about wine, a little about food, and something about non top-40 music.
- Don’t spend more than 40 bucks on jeans. They’re just jeans.
- Chick, hottie, or beeotch – at least treat her like a lady.
- Your job is just what you do, not who you are. Stop talking so much about it. And your salary. If you’re doing OK money-wise, everything about your look and personality will say it for you.
- Ask a woman questions. Insightful ones. And listen to her answers.
- Stop looking at her cleavage. A glance now can prevent you from getting full-frontal later.
BBG: You’re having someone special over, what would you make for dinner?
KD: If it’s someone really special, now is not the time to try something I haven’t cooked before. I’ll go with one of my specialties: my Mom’s lasagna recipe or my not-yet-famous eggplant parmesan. Start the meal with a nice walnut cranberry spinach salad, serve the entrée with a nice pinot grigio, and then have crème bruleé for dessert. Like those old Colt 45 commercials said, “It works every time.”
BBG: What’s your favorite room in your place? Why?
KD: I love my den, which is in the basement of my townhouse. I’ve got my computers, my TV and Playstation, my tunes, a mini beer fridge, my favorite books, and a comfy chair. It's like my own Batcave.
BBG: If you could have a conversation with one person, who would he be?
KD: Either JFK or Frank Sinatra. Either way, I’d want to know how Marilyn Monroe was.
BBG: What do you do/where do you go for fun?
KD: Best Buy or Home Depot, on a daily basis. Anywhere with my wife and/or my best friends. I know it’s trite and expected, but I love Las Vegas now as much as I loved Disney World as a kid. I’d like to do paintball, and I can’t wait to teach my son about the split-finger fastball.
BBG: Charlize Theron or Tyra Banks?
KD: Lauren Graham. Yes, I have the hots for the Mom from “The Gilmore Girls.” I kind of liked her, then she played a bit of a skank in “Bad Santa,” and I was done.
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