 The envelope comes in the mail. A wedding in the Hamptons, a Bar Mitzvah for your neighbor's son, or your wife’s office is taking everyone to the opera for the opening night for La Traviata. Or maybe it's the company holiday party. At the bottom of the invitation in discreet cursive type face, reads the words “semi-formal” or “formal.” That, my friends, means you get to channel your inner James Bond and break out the tuxedo. But what’s the difference between the semi-formal and formal and does it matter for you, especially if you’re considering buying a tuxedo for the occasion?Actually, most people don’t know the “rules;” in fact, the “rules” related to such things have become pretty relaxed. Tuxedos are the accepted option for most formal occasions. The quick and dirty explanation of the differences is as follows:
- Technically, before 6 pm you should wear a morning coat (frequently pearl grey) with a waistcoat, ascot, and stiff white shirt. That being said, you'll rarely see some guy dressed that way (unless he's driving a vintage Rolls, and even then, come on, dude) and we doubt anyone will say anything if you choose to just sport a dinner jacket instead.
- Semi-formal (after 6 pm) means a tuxedo, black bow tie and matching cummerbund. This is appropriate for black tie events.
- Formal is really formal, as in a tailcoat (which is rarely worn these days) and white tie, with a white waistcoat. These days, "formal" means roll with your (own) tuxedo.
So the real difference is the dinner jacket, which is the standard for the tuxedo. Now, what the hell is a dinner jacket? For you eggheads out there who really obsess about this stuff (David: "zzzzzz......"): Edward, Prince of Wales, first wore a dinner jacket back in 1885, as a less dressy and cumbersome option (his were in midnight blue as opposed to black) to an evening tailcoat. The jacket was modeled more along the lines of a hunting jacket. It wasn't until Pierre Lorillard (or his son Griswold, as the story varies) wore one at the Autumn Ball in Tuxedo Park, NY in 1886, that the dinner jacket (and there for tuxedo) became fashionable. The term isn't used outside of the US and Canada, but everyone knows what we’re talking about, one should hope.
The tuxedo is a suit, meaning it's the jacket and corresponding pants. There are some specifics with the pants: no cuff, no belt loops, a silk ribbon or double grosgrain braid down the outside of the legs, and made of worsted wool so it can be worn all year. If you're concerned about your pants staying up without a belt, wear braces in white or black.
If you're considering purchasing a tuxedo, follow these basics:
Tuxedos come in black or midnight blue and one tuxedo in either color is all you need. A white jacket (ivory, actually) is a good alternative from mid-April to Labor Day, though the English frown on the light-colored jacket, but they’re snobs. Coincidentally, it's OK to wear a white dinner jacket in the former colonies (India, the Caribbean, Southeast Asia, and yes, North America) but for a tuxedo purchase, you don't need an additional dinner jacket in your closet. You'll never see James Bond wearing a white dinner jacket on the Continent in any movie. The tuxedo jacket should have either a shawl collar (derived from the smoking jacket) or peaked lapels (from the evening tailcoat). If you go in for tradition, the jacket should have no vent in the back and a single button. You can also opt for a double-breasted jacket, which have peaked lapels only. The lapel should be faced in either silk or grosgrain (silk corduroy). Like any other suit you own, once you purchase it, take it to your tailor so that it fits impeccably.
Now, you’ll need a few more accompaniments to the tux:
- A white formal shirt with pleated bib or plain front. No ruffles please, Liberace. The collar can be either a traditional lay-down spread collar like you have on your dress shirts, or a wing collar, which has flaps that tuck behind the bow of the tie. We prefer the lay-down collar, unless you want to look like you play second sax in the high school jazz band. One more point about the shirt - no, you don't look like Brad Pitt or Cuba Gooding at the Academy Awards if you sport the "mod-formal" black shirt/black tux combo. You look like a greasy mobster.
- Cuff links and matching studs for the shirt, which will have button holes specifically for the studs. Studs and links are usually made of black onyx, though there are more variations if you want to mix it up. Purchase them in a matched set only, lest you look like you got dressed at the Salvation Army.
- A real bow tie, not a clip-on bow tie, and a matching cummerbund. Tying a bow tie is just like tyng your shoes, except around your neck. And unless otherwise specified, it should be black. Not red, not maroon, not baby blue, not paisley, black. Again, cue the high school jazz band if you go for any other color for your tie and cummerbund set.
- Black, smooth oxfords are a must. Patent leather is the preferred, but they're not everyone's cup of tea, unless you're being invited to a twee little tea party. For the rest of mankind, you can go with a nice pair of highly polished leather lace-ups that are smooth and without perforations or wing-tips. You may already own a pair of quality leather oxfords (and by quality, we don't mean Rockports). Shine them to the max.
- Optional: braces to hold up your pants, a vest to differentiate you from the masses, and a dress watch with a black leather band so you're always on time and classy at the same time.
- Not optional: not wearing a tie at all, wearing a bolo tie, wearing a t-shirt under your tux to be "hip" or "down," or wearing any kind of hat or headgear with your tux.
The goal is to look as elegant as you can, not as rebellious as you can or as cute as you can. Stop worrying - you won't look like the maitre'd or a valet at the country club if you wear your tux with comfort, grace and ease. And cut the "penguin" comments while tugging at your collar and sticking out your neck like you're Rodney Dangerfield. Many women believe the height of sexiness is a man who is at home in his tuxedo (sort of like how you think the height of sexiness is for your woman to feel at home in a tanktop and thong).
Stick that in your pocket.
Step out in confidence when you're in your tux, not someone else's. Laser beam shooting watch, Aston Martin DB5, jet pack and your choice of blonde or brunette Bond girl are all optional.
(This article was edited 10.27.08, 1:41 pm) |
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