Feeling like Seth Rogen is getting just a little over-exposed?  Seems like Jonah Hill is co-starring in most every upcoming laddie comedy? And Andy Samberg, ain’t he just an Apatow-factory comedy away from the big time? The one thing these guys all have in common, besides being really ironic, always goofy and sometimes sort of funny, is that part of their schtick is their hair. They all have that poofy, shaggy mane of Jew-fro hair that appears to be what these guys think all us Jews actually wore when we were in junior high in the ‘80s. [Ed. note: this applies to non-Jews also]And guess what I’m seeing more regular guys doing - growing out their hair and going for that thick, bushy helmet ‘cause they see Rogen and Samberg doing it. Being a Better Guy means that while you can wear your hair however you want, you know that you need to take care of it and keep it in order. Now, I wear my hair high and tight. In fact, I just clipped it all off with a Number 2 just this past weekend while mostly drunk so it took some aid from my wife to come in in relief and make it even. 

So I asked my hair guy, Lyo, if I were to want to grow my hair longer, what tips could he give me. Not that I would ever really do such a thing, mainly because a) I have government clients who wouldn’t take too kindly to a shaggy-haired salesguy strolling into their office to lead a meeting, and b) I have crappy, wavy hair that if grown out, will only succeed in looking like a quality rat’s nest.

But maybe you want to go for the full Jonah. Perhaps you’re considering letting your locks go and seeing where that takes you. If it leads to a gig on SNL, give us a call, will you? Here are Lyo’s tips for guys who want to grow their hair longer:

Know Your Hair. Before you do anything, stand in front of the mirror, take your hair in your fingers, and give it a good massage. Can you tell if your hair is thick, thin, brittle, wavy, curly? Sure you can. That’s where you start, because thin hair gets treated differently than thick, curly hair would.

Know Your Face. If you have a round face from too many stuffed baked potatoes, growing a curly bush around your already round face makes you look even rounder and clownish. Which, for Jonah and Seth, is exactly what they’re going for. They’re not trying to look sexy, they’re trying to look funny; they get paid to look and be funny.  If you’re not getting paid to look funny, keep in mind the shape of your face when determining if, and how, you should grow your hair.

Know Yourself. Not to be all self-help and crap, but a guy with longer hair is a certain type of guy, like the guy who wears a bushy mustache or the guy who tattoos his entire face. I, for one, am not that guy and I know it. In the working world, moppish locks are looked upon by higher ups as possibly sloppy and irresponsible, even if you’re the most reliable guy in the building. It sends a message – one that could look great in social settings and get you bunches of chicks, but might be a detriment in professional ones. So size up your life and see if you’re ready to grow.

Long on Top. Most guys, when they think of growing longer hair, thing about growing it from the sides so it covers their ears.  That gives you a serious Bozo look if you have thick hair. Actually, when you grow your hair out, much of the growth should really come from the top, according to Lyo, and the sides get kept in check for balance. You want hair to grow up from your head, not out from your head.

Any Reason to Cut It, Like, Ever? Yes, trims are good, probably every two months or so, to keep it in balance as it grows out and to maintain shape. It could take you easily a good six months to grow a really bushy, Samberg-like head of hair. You want to keep it in check while those six months go by, otherwise that rat’s nest I spoke about with regard to my own head, that’s what you’ll have.

Wash and Roll. Longer hair needs to be washed more often. Now let’s assume that you wash your hair every other day now. As you grow it out, your longer mane creates more sweat and oil, in short, will smell more and more like “hair.” Not real sexy to most women. The longer it gets, wash it more frequently, like once a day to keep it lively and not limp, matted to your skull with oily grease. Also, condition it every other day to give it body, since shampoo can be harsh and make the hair lose its power. Hey, you want to grow it out, you need to do these things.

Guess I Need Some Gel, Huh?  Absolutely not. If this were 1988 and you were on “21 Jump Street,” I’d say sure. But today, there are products specifically made for longer hair. They are called pomades and crèmes.  They are sort of like putting a bit of body lotion in your hair. They’re somewhat thick to the touch, but not gloppy or sticky like gel or wax, which by the way you don’t want to use unless you’re reviving Jonny Depp from the mid-80s, then don’t forget the acid-washed denim to complete your look. Check out the pomades from American Crew for an inexpensive, good quality solution.