Marriage. The final stop on the relationship express. As an institution, it gets mixed reviews, yet so many of us will straighten a bow tie put on a tuxedo, and a nervous smile to take that leap of faith. Brian Joyner of Be Better Guys tells you what knows from his 8 years in.
- Get married because you want to be married to her. Any other reason is a recipe for disaster. Just read the newspapers or watch TV if you think I’m lying.
- Let everyone do what they do well in the relationship—it may be finances, cooking, even the home improvement work for her. You may be the organizer or nurturer. Let’s face it you suck with a hammer, so why keep with this whole “man’s role” thing?
- My wife is smarter than I am. I embrace that and work from there.
- Understand that being in a marriage is a partnership. Like in business, you need buy-in on decisions. Compromises will be made. Accept that.
- No amount of gifts or flowers will make up for a lack of compassion. You’re in this together, so you have to be understanding, even when you disagree.
- Your spouse should be a friend that you like spending time with, because forever is a mighty long time and none of us will be cute forever.
- Make peace with your in-laws. Again, forever is a long time.
- Once you have children, you two had better be able to laugh together. Nothing will sap your libido, steal your shared time, and melt your brain like kids, so some chuckles will help. And I say this with the utmost affection for my daughters.
- My wife doesn’t conform to any specific “type” of woman for me. She is the one who brings me the most joy and the least discomfort. And I love her smile.
- It was the easiest decision I made as an adult.
Brian is co-creator of Be Better Guys.
Fantastic article.
Having been married for almost 39 years – and to the same woman – every point is absolutely correct.
Brian,
You’re right in all your points. I enjoyed especially #3; although the funny thing from my perspective is that recognizing that the wife is smarter makes actually the husband a smart guy (in order to embrace it) which could pose a never-ending “comparison” situation. I prefer to look at marriage as a merge of two brains into a better thinking system where discussion and two points of view lead to a common goal.
Thanks for sharing!
Alejandro:
I like your way of thinking about #3. Thanks for the comment.
An unvarnished comment from a nearly 40-year vet. Thanks, Dave.
[...] The Brian Joyner Interview Posted on September 2, 2011 by Nicole Johnson | Leave a Comment On Wednesday’s show, we had the pleasure of interviewing Brian Joyner! Brian is the Co-Founder of the website BeBetterGuys.com – We discussed Brian’s male-centric website and his recent article: 10 Things I Know About Marriage [...]