Be Better Guys

David started this feature and it went over quite well. So I figured it was my turn to give it a try. In honor of my wedding anniversary (7 years and counting), I pulled together a list of my accumulated knowledge on women, condensed into 10 things I know – -  I think.

1. All women have something about them that makes them beautiful. Finding that thing that makes her beautiful and reveling in it will endear her to you—and I’m not talking about she has nice ankles.
2. Everyone loves thoughtful presents. No one loves the drug-store teddy bear and chocolates.
3. A woman’s back is a much underrated body part.
4. All women want respect. I’ve dated women of various races, from different continents, and all across the socio-economic spectrum.  Respect was the common theme and the one sure way to ensure a good relationship.
5. That being said, going on an occasional shopping expedition with her can’t hurt, either. Gotta take one for the team occasionally. Your team’s bye-week is a good time to do it.
6. Her hair is a big deal to her. You don’t get to decide if a trip to the salon or extra money on products is necessary. You do have to understand that she thinks it is.
7. I’ve talked my way out of more sex than I talked my way into. Women have already decided if they want to sleep with you, for the most part. They’re just waiting for you to shut up and hopefully not say something stupid.
8. With women, most things are relative – there aren’t many hard and fast rules. Crazy is not. I’ve dated women who are whimsical, who are flighty, and who didn’t have a clear plan until the very last moment. It can be frustrating, but ultimately harmless (and frequently fun). But crazy is a whole other matter. I’ve been stabbed with a pen and had obscene phone calls made to my family to get at me. Both times, I was told “she is crazy.” Both times, I ignored the sources. If they tell you they are crazy or someone tells you they’re crazy, listen. Don’t be Andre Rison, watching your house burn with Left-Eye standing there saying “I told you.” This goes for men, too, ladies.
9. Give her more massages.
10. Women like massages because they are sensual, not necessarily sexual. They make her feel good about her body because you are giving it attention. Not that a massage can’t lead to sex. . . .

Brian Joyner is co-creator of Be Better Guys. His vast knowledge of women has led him to offering advice to passers-by while sitting curb-side on Saturdays nights at the local Gas-N-Sip.