Be Better Guys

Most people I know, including myself, hate networking events.  It’s 400 people standing around, only half of whom actually know other people there and they’ve cliqued-off in the corner and are closed to any new entrants.  It’s a lot of warm Pepsi and even warmer crab cakes and artichoke dip.  It’s a whole bunch of people who, when they approach you, do something rather odd – they look at your nametag first to try to super-fast read the thing to see what company you’re with, looking at you like you have just chummed all over your left lapel.  Only then do these people, after hunching over and squinting to find out who you are, have to say hello because they’ve committed themselves, even though after reading your name tag they think, “Ah, crap, this guy’s not who I wanted to be talking with!”  And thus it continues…You can feel like a castaway on a lonely island in roomful of bodies.

Networking doesn't really have to be a full-on nightmare

fee for flat Sprite and week-old vegetable trays, here’s how you network like a pro:

What’s Your Agenda For Being There?   I know, sounds obvious. But depending on your reason for being there, your agenda and actions take shape from the outset.

• If it’s to get your name/face out there, you can approach almost anyone and introduce yourself.  Anyone you meet is a good acquaintance if, say, you’re new to the business and want to build a Rolodex of potential colleagues or customers.  That said, look for the more senior folks in the room because they likely wield more authority and power.
• If it’s to locate specific people, such as particular colleagues or customers that you haven’t yet met, first get a list of attendees from the front desk.  Better yet, if you can get an advance list of attendees from the organizer, you can…
• Google the person and see if you can locate a photo.  That way, if you’re trying to connect with a VIP you know will be there but haven’t ever laid eyes upon before, you now know what the person looks like and can spot them and prepare to approach.
• Make use of your current network (whom you already know) and have them introduce you ahead of time, be it via email or phone.  Any prior contact with people before the networking event gives you someone to seek out once you’re there. (in person/via email or phone).

Be targeted without being aggressive.  Ok, let’s say you want to hook up with a few specific people and meet them, attach a face to a name.  You’ve found their photo, you know what they look like, you read their bio or some background information and you’re ready to approach.

• Don’t stalk.  It creeps people out.   And they can sense when they’re being watched.
• Better:  Once you’ve spotted the person with whom you want to meet, just watch the person from a distance of at least 10 feet and orbit.  Chances are a lot of folks will want to meet the same person you do so when an opening arises, you have to move quickly, but with poise.  You don’t want to stumble all over yourself to hurtle through the opening.
• When you approach,  smile broadly, stand up straight, present a firm handshake, and look the person squarely in the eye.  Hold the handshake juuust a bit longer than standard and ensure you’ve got the person’s attention.  Don’t schlump your way up or look like you’re about to deliver news that the dog just died.
• Just give your first name.  It’s hard enough for people to remember two names (first and last) so if you connect with the person you’re talking with you’ll give your last name later.  That goes for all situations.
• Looking around the room  to see who else is there shows you’re not interested
• Better:  Look at the color of the person’s eyes, right at the iris.  Focus on it.  Stare at it.  Blink every now and then, it’s good for you.

Arrive with a Hook and ask way more questions than you thought possible.  When you’re at a networking reception, everyone sort of blends in to one giant mass of globby humanity.  Separate  yourself.  When you approach, come up with something that may be situational and funny (“So this is the fourth event like this I’ve attended in the last month.  Do you have any tips to survive these things?”) or (“I met you a year ago at the Bloznolis Conference, you know, I remember because we talked about dogs for half an hour and you inspired me to get one.  Now I have a Doberman of my own!”).  Anything to separate yourself from everyone else who approaches this person. And then start asking questions.

• Hook for a business reception – remember:  people would prefer to talk about THEMSELVES than listen to YOU
  • Funny and loose:  “So this is the fourth event like this I’ve attended in the last month.  Do you have any tips to survive these things?”
  • Interpersonal:  “I met you a year ago at the Fishkiss Conference.   You know, I remember because we talked about dogs for half an hour and you inspired me to get one.  Now I have a Doberman of my own!”
  • The Pitch Over the Plate (boring but a classic):   “Hello I’m David and I’m with Be Better Guys.  Tell me what you do.”
  • Hook when meeting the boss’ boss – you have one chance with the big guy/gal.  You spotted him or her at a network event and you’re not gonna blow it.
    •  “Great to meet you.  We’ve had some real progress in the last year at Bloznolis Enterprises and I’d love to tell you about it.  I think it’ll make you smile, love to follow up with you on Friday if you’re free.”
    • A little bit of small talk before you get to the point is always valuable.  Small talk about sports or pets or travel or even the weather.  Anything you can get your hands on to make the brief meeting a pleasant one for both of you.  Then you’ll be remembered.
    • Always have supreme etiquette and don’t interrupt.  That’ll kill your first impression right quick.

The Close is more important than the Hook.  Too many people don’t know how to close a conversation when they meet someone good at a networking event to ensure the relationship stays afloat.

• Saying “Maybe we can meet again sometime” guarantees it won’t happen.
• Better:  “Let’s get together next Tuesday.  Here’s my card and if I can have yours we’ll put it on the calendar.”    Then call.  Don’t write.  You have a relationship now; you’ve moved beyond email and a call is really appreciated in this day of texts, emails and message boards.

Networking events aren’t easy.  It takes a huge amount of chutzpah to overcome your shyness and approach total strangers with confidence you may not even feel you have.  Take comfort in this:  everyone else in the room feels just like you do.  The difference?  Now you know how to network like a pro so you can approach, engage, and close and make networking events juuust a bit less hateful.