Be Better Guys

In my 12 years of marriage to a New Yorker and rabid hockey and football fan, as well as being my own personal drinking buddy, I’ve learned a few things about how women tick – at least how this woman ticks.  On behalf of Be Better Guys, here are “10 Things I Think I Know About Women”.

1.  Women like it if you buy clothes for them. However you need to know their size (check the tags in the closet and drawer before heading out) and you need to buy that size.  Don’t buy a size smaller thinking it’ll look tight and cute like the similar blouse you saw on the intern at the office.  That will immediately piss your girl off.

2.  Speaking of clothes she will have more shoes than you can even comprehend. It will make no sense at all. Why 3 pair of the same black suede boots?  Just let it go man…let it go.

3.  Sometimes you will make her cry. Don’t ask “Why can’t you just pull yourself together?”  The best thing to say is “Hey I’m sorry.”  You can work it out from there after she comes back to Earth and you have acknowledged your screw-up.

4.  If she cooks the full meal then just do all of the dishes.  Don’t “offer” to do them.  Just do them.

5.  She always knows when you’re looking at another woman. Even if you try to steal a glance to your left from behind your Ray Bans while you’re driving a car and she’s well off to your right side in the passenger seat. Yes, that’s from personal experience.

6.  She doesn’t care about your body nearly as much as you care about hers or as much as you care about yours.

7.  Don’t make fun of her driving. Period. Even if it really sucks.  By the way my wife’s driving is about average.  Though she has had some sucky moments.  I however have had none.

8.  When talking about her friends, it’s a pretty touchy subject and she’s going to be sensitive about it.  You really can’t tell her any of them are losers. Even if they are.  However she may tell you some of your friends are losers and you can fight it or just go get another beer.  Bottom line is you can’t win this one so don’t even try.

9.  Great affordable gifts that she will probably really dig:  the sterling silver jewelry collections at Tiffany & Co. It’s pretty affordable ($100 – $350 for most stuff) and most women I know do backflips over the “blue box.”

10.  You want to fix the situation. She just wants to explain the situation. Work as hard as you ever have in your entire life to squelch your brimming desire to say “Just do ‘x’ and then ‘y’ and then ‘z’ and it’ll all be ok.” She doesn’t want your advice. She just wants to unload. I know.

BONUS TIP! 11.  There are two types of dog women – women who prefer little yappy dogs who poop tiny tulips and can be hand-carried into Elizabeth Arden and women who prefer big dogs that make bigger messes out of both ends.   The former woman will be very high-maintenance and probably no fun even if she’s really hot; the latter woman will inevitably be way cooler because she can handle a big mess.  Just tellin’ you now so you’re well-prepared when she introduces you to Roscoe, her toy Maltese.

David Boris is co-founder of Be Better Guys.