Be Better Guys

My wife’s best friend makes this dish of nachos. It’s a tray really. Takes ‘em right out of the oven when they’re done and dollops some sour cream on the top and sets ‘em out before me and her husband when we watch football at their house. This is an appetizer. Inevitably I eat half of the tray myself. It’s a baking sheet and the pile of chips and stuff is like 5 or 6 inches high because it’s not just chips and salsa. It’s chips layered with ground beef and black beans and cheese and peppers. Naturally when dinner comes around I’m not interested. ‘Cause I’m drunk and full on these nachos.

My wife made a version of them at a friends’ house while watching another f’ing dreadful Redskins game this past fall. In fact we got beaned by the Carolina Panthers in that game. What’d the Panthers do – win like 4 games this year? Well so did we and there was only one thing that made that game even remotely salvageable: this tray of nachos. Now this time my wife went a few steps further by putting on some chopped banana peppers and fresh cilantro on top of the sour cream on top of all the other stuff. And I about popped. Ate three-fourths of the tray this time and the other guests were like “Um hey David? You gonna come up for air so we can get a few chip bits?”

Here’s the key: when you cook the ground beef first you want to season it with. Then when you all the stuff you bake the entire pile of stuff for 5-8 minutes or until the chips have become more crisp then they were when they came out of the bag. See some chips will stick together making them even stronger when you scoop stuff on ‘em. That’s what you want. You want them extra crisp so they hold.

Think about whenever you have nachos somewhere…preferably not TGIFridays. They get soggy. They’re sitting in a puddle of gummy salsa. They suck. You want your chips dry so you get that kickin’ crunch that sets off the addict in you.  And any fresh ingredients you can put on top – like the fresh chopped peppers (banana or jalapeno peppers…not canned) or chopped cilantro or fresh scallions – really make the nachos fly.

With the Super Bowl coming up this is the best and easiest dish you can make. You make a few trays and lay ‘em out on the table and watch them get gobbled up. And revel in the praise you will receive. For they are the best nachos you will ever eat. You made ‘em. Keep a private stash for yourself.

• 1 lb ground beef
• 1 taco seasoning mix pack
• ¾ cup water
• 1 bag of nachos (enough to fill two baking sheets)
• 2 15 oz cans black beans or dark kidney beans, drained and rinsed
• 1-2 cups cheddar or Monterey jack cheese, grated
• ½ a bunch green onions, chopped
• 2 jalapenos, minced
• ½ a cup cilantro, chopped
• 1 tomato chopped
• 2 avocados chopped
• 1 cup sour cream

Preheat oven to 375 degrees.

In a large skillet, cook ground beef until the meat is no longer pink. Add taco seasoning and water and stir (and follow the cooking directions on the seasoning pack). Cook until water is absorbed and meat has developed a saucy (!) quality.

Cover baking sheets with either parchment paper or aluminum foil. Spray the foil with nonstick spray. Spread nachos evenly between the two trays. Divide and layer the meat, beans and cheese between two trays of nachos. Bake in the oven until the cheese is fully melted and chips have light browning. Remove trays from oven. Divide remaining ingredients over two trays evenly. Serve hot.